The Promise Read online

  The Promise

  Natalie Clarke

  Copyright © 2020 Natalie Clarke

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  https://natalieclarke98.wixsite.com/website

  EBook ASIN: B08LCHD5CP

  Paperback ISBN: 9798691040610

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Playlist

  Chapter Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Epilogue Part 1

  Epilogue Part 2

  Author Notes and Acknowledgements

  Books By This Author

  The Promise is a standalone novel that can be read on its own, however it features some characters and continues certain plot points from The Game, so reading The Game first is recommended.

  This book intended for readers 18+ due to sexual content. This book features some scenes of domestic violence and suicide references so it could be sensitive to some readers. If these topics upset you, this may not be the book for you.

  Please excuse some British spellings of some words, please remember that I am a British author writing American characters in a story that takes place in the USA.

  To all of those who have supported me since I first began my author journey back in May 2020, you know who you are.

  Thank you.

  Playlist

  Call Out My Name – The Weeknd

  Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard

  IDGAF – Dua Lipa

  Poison – Alice Cooper

  Drag Me Down – One Direction

  I Feel It Coming – The Weeknd and Daft Punk

  Crossfire – Brandon Flowers

  What’s Good – Fenne Lily

  Just Tonight – The Pretty Reckless

  Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragons

  She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5

  Us – James Bay

  Fine Line – Harry Styles

  Chapter Prologue

  Gwen

  Growing up, like any girl, I imagined what my wedding day would look like. I would spend hours lying in bed, evading sleep, thinking up the most important day of my life, picturing every single detail to the very last flower. I would sit daydreaming out of the window during school, my chin resting in my palm, imagining who of my friends would be my bridesmaids, Chloe, Kate, maybe Leila.

  Hayley, my best friend, my soul sister would without question be my maid of honour.

  I would picture the venue in my head, it was so clear it almost felt real, a small, simple wedding, maybe a grand hotel or a registry office, no churches, I am anything but religious. The venue would be minimal and delicate, dressed in white and blush pink.

  I dreamed of what my dress would be like, for me, it was a white lace gown with full delicate lace sleeves, a low dip in the back that would end just at the base of my spine and a long train. Our friends and family would fill the seats either side of the aisle, watching on as we marry the one we love most in the world, the one we want to spend eternity with. I dreamed of my dad walking me down the aisle where I am met with the man of my dreams, tall, dark, and handsome. A Prince of my very own.

  But that’s all they were...

  Dreams.

  When I was growing up, I had no idea my wedding day was going to turn out like this. Today is meant to be the happiest day of my life, the one where the next chapter of my life begins, but today is not that day.

  I will be beginning a new chapter of my life, just a different one to the one I had imagined all those years ago. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, one that will be remembered. And boy, will it be remembered.

  This day is one that no one will ever forget.

  Chapter 1

  Gwen

  I stare at myself through the tall freestanding mirror in the corner of the room, my eyes roaming down over the soft white silk that hugs my body as Hayley stands behind me, pinning the floral lace veil into a braided bun at the back of my head.

  In an alternate universe this would be the happiest day of my life, my heart would be thumping in my chest in excitement, butterflies would be doing flips in my belly with anticipation.

  But not today. No, instead, my stomach is churning, dread seeping deep into my bones.

  How did my life come to this? Who the hell did I piss off in my past life to make what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life into what will become one of the worst? Though I guess no one forced me to be here, I could have put an end to all this long before now, but where would the fun be in that? Why should he get off lightly?

  “I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t have picked Josh out for you, but as long as you're happy, that’s good enough for me,” Hayley comments as she adjusts the veil slightly.

  Happy.

  If only.

  Hayley has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We met on my first day of school when I first moved in with my grandma after my dad died, and since then, we've been like two peas in a pod, totally inseparable, though I’ve always felt we're more like sisters than friends. We’re always there for each other no matter what, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life.

  “There. All done,” she announces proudly, fanning the veil and smoothing it so it cascades down my back. “You look beautiful. Are you ready?” She reaches down and hands me my bouquet of beautiful peonies and tulips, the sweet floral scent of the flowers drifting into my nostrils.

  I take a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be.”

  She squeals, clapping her hands together. “I’m so excited! This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

  I couldn’t have put it better myself, and boy am I ready for the rest of my life.

  A new chapter.

  A fresh start.

  An urge to tell her what I’m planning surges through me. I’ve wanted to tell her for so long. There are no secrets between us, there never has been, and it’s killed me having to keep this to myself, but I’ve come this far on my own. This something I need to do by myself.

  I have to.

  I lo
ok down to my right where my son is sat on a chair, dressed in a baby blue tuxedo with a silver embellished waistcoat, swinging his legs that don't quite reach the floor as he mumbles something I can’t here, deep in thought.

  My heart swells with love. Lucas is three years old and is my absolute world. He is the spitting image of his dad, a head of thick dark hair, beautiful blue eyes, and the cutest smile that can get him just about anything he wants.

  Luke, his dad, died not long after I found out I was pregnant with him. He was killed in a car accident when he spun out of control on his way over to meet me one day four years ago, a day I’ll never forget. I was going to tell Luke about the pregnancy, but I never got the chance. The only real father figure he has in his life is his Uncle Kyle, Hayley’s husband. Luke was Kyle’s brother, though they were technically cousins since Kyle was adopted by his aunt and uncle when he was a baby, but he and Luke were raised as brothers and that’s all that matters.

  Kyle dotes on him, I guess in some ways being so close to Lucas is a way to be close to his brother.

  I can’t help but think that I shouldn’t be here now, I should have been married long ago to Lucas's dad, but I guess the universe had other plans.

  When I found out I was pregnant, happiness was the last thing on my mind, Lucas wasn’t supposed to happen. I was twenty-one, I was nowhere near ready to raise a baby, especially not alone. The timing wasn’t ideal, but looking back now, I can’t imagine my life without him in it. I can’t even remember my life before he was born, for that matter. He is the love of my life, my pride and joy.

  I bend down and adjust his bowtie. “You ready baby?”

  His ocean blue eyes flick up to mine and he nods hastily. “Yes mommy!”

  “Good boy. Now you remember what I told you? You walk ahead of mommy and Auntie Hayley okay?”

  “Okay.” He jumps off the chair and winds his little arms around my neck, and I hold him tight against me. I plant a quick kiss to his cheek before releasing him.

  “Too bad Aaron couldn’t make it,” Hayley says, disappointedly.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Today is the day I needed as many friends around me as possible. Aside from Hayley, Aaron is my other best friend who we’ve known since we were seventeen. He’s been in Chicago for the past couple of years, first interning for a law firm and then landing a job there after it ended. He was going to bring his girlfriend Eva along with him, it would have been the first time we’d have met her, but as luck would have it, a storm rolled in, grounding their flight.

  “Shall we go?” she asks.

  I take a deep breath and nod.

  We leave the room to find Nathaniel, Kyle’s dad, and Lucas’s grandfather waiting for us on the other side. Since I don’t have a father, or any family member at all to walk me down the aisle, Nathaniel is the next best thing. I couldn’t have gotten through the last four years without him and his wife, Ellen. They have been more parents to me than my own flesh and blood, which is the exact reason I asked him to be the one to give me away.

  When he sees me, a wide smile crosses his face as he looks me up and down. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” I smile back.

  He holds out his arm to me and I take it, looping mine through his as he leads me out. Lucas is at the front of our procession, followed by Hayley and then finally Nate and me, as we begin the long, slow walk down the aisle to where my fiancée stands.

  Josh and I met just under a year ago. He’s older than I am by a couple of years, he is blonde-haired and blue-eyed, he’s an attractive guy, any woman would go head over heels to have a man that looked like him on her arm.

  Just not me.

  My heart is thundering against my chest, so fast I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, I can feel it thumping in my eardrums.

  Soft music fills the room, and Josh turns when he hears us coming and smiles. The sight of him should instill love and adoration but the only thing I feel is betrayal and hatred.

  I peer at the faces of the people sat either side of the aisle, the smiles on their faces as they see me coming, I see their eyes roam over me, taking in my dress, their eyes wide with wonder.

  My stomach lurches as my mind drifts to what I’m about to do. I think if I let go of Nate now, my whole body would start shaking and my knees would give out, and I can’t let that happen. I can’t be weak.

  I have to remain strong.

  I can do this. I can do this. I repeat my mantra over and over in my head, but it does nothing to ease my nerves. I’m trembling so much I’d be surprised if Nate can’t feel it.

  When we finally reach the end of the aisle, Hayley takes my son’s hand and guides him to the open seat next to Rose, my neighbour and surrogate grandmother. Hayley takes a seat next to her husband, Kyle, who’s holding their daughter, Sara Elizabeth who has recently celebrated her first birthday. She’s the most beautiful baby girl with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen, she gets those from her daddy, cute chubby cheeks and deep dimples when she smiles.

  Nate pecks me on the cheek and makes his way to an open seat next to his wife. Then it is just me and Josh, standing before the Minister and a room full of people.

  He leans in close. “You look beautiful, babe.”

  Babe. Pass the sick bucket.

  Hearing him call me that used to fill me with warmth, now all it does is send a wave of nausea through me.

  Lies. All lies.

  I fake a smile, making it as convincing as possible.

  The Minister begins to speak but it’s all a blur. I don’t hear a single word. The sound fades away and everything goes quiet. It’s like I’m hearing the words through a thick pane of glass, every word muffled and indistinguishable.

  Everything that has happened since I found out the truth passes through my mind and has the blood pumping through my veins ten times faster as I remind myself why I’m doing this.

  I’m doing this for me and my son. I’m doing this for the life I want for us, for all those nights I spent dreaming about my future.

  This, here, right now, does not look anything like what I used to picture in my mind.

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Rose heading out of the door with Lucas, trying to be as quiet as possible as they slip out of the door at the back of the room, closing it quietly behind them so as not to disturb the ceremony.

  For whatever reason she led him outside, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I don’t want Lucas witnessing this. He’s way too young to understand any of this.

  “Gwen, you okay?” Josh mutters, snapping me back to reality.

  I meet his eyes. “I’m perfect.” The lie slips so easily between my lips I could actually believe that it’s real.

  “Joshua, Guinevere, if you will join hands please,” the Minister says. My hands are clammy and shaky as Josh takes them in his, giving me a wide smile and a wink. “Joshua Ryan Yates, do you take Guinevere Sullivan to be your lawful wedded wife? Do you vow to love and cherish her from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, with honesty and faith till death do you part?”

  I almost choke and break into laughter at the honesty and faithful part.

  Josh stares into my eyes. “I do.”

  The Minister turns to me.

  “Guinevere Sullivan, do you take Joshua Ryan Yates to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you vow to love and cherish him from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, with honesty and faith till death do you part?”

  My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it everywhere, in my head, my ears, hell I can even feel it in my fingers.

  This is it. The moment I have been preparing myself for, for the past two months.

  Do I have the guts to do this?

  It’s now or never.

  “I don't.”

  There it is. I said it. No turning back now.

  There’s a confused pause, as if I’ve taken him
aback. “Excuse me, could you repeat that?” the Minister asks.

  “Gwen?” Josh tightens his grip on my hands, his brows knit with confusion as his eyes flit across my face.

  “I don’t,” I repeat a little clearer, and the sounds of gasps and hushed whispers fill the room.

  “Gwen, babe. This is a joke, right?”

  I rip my hands from his grasp. “No, it’s not.” I turn to the faces that sit before me, eyes wide with shock. “I’m sorry everyone. But I will not marry a man who has been cheating on me with the entire back row.”

  I arranged the seating plan and made sure all of his little conquests were all sat together, for this exact moment. All five of them looking at each other, confusion written across their faces. Clearly, he was playing all of us. A time not so long ago, I even considered two of them friends. How times have changed.